Pirates of the Caribbean: On stranger Tides

My Take By KJ Eldridge

So I went to go see Pirates of the Caribbean: On Stranger Tides last night. I tried to go in with no real expectations but the first three movies were great so that was pretty much impossible. Even with all of the ridiculous sub plots interweaving in every direction they were still crazy entertaining. I loved the chemistry of the original cast, the running jokes, and the characters regularly switching sides depending on what suited their particular needs at the moment. This movie tried.

The opening scene of the movie was on par with everything that the franchise had built prior. It was a classic Captain Jack Sparrow escape scene set in Olde London Town. The set up was Jack’s attempted rescue of his old first mate, Gibbs, from certain doom from a courtroom scenario where its audience was hell-bent on seeing him swinging at the gallows. I won’t go into detail on what actually happened because from that point until the main story actually gets underway is actually one of the better sequences in the whole film. Also look for Richard Griffiths, the miserable uncle in Harry Potter, as King George II in all his haughty sniveling glory. His expressions alone are worth the price of admission.

At that point in the movie I was prepared for another Pirate movie worthy of the others. Unfortunately for this one, much of the charm of the originals seemed to be missing. The story was good with intriguing takes on Blackbeard and Mermaids but intriguing is not the adjective I look for when dealing with Disney’s pirates. I want to be taken on a wild ride where I have no idea what’s going to happen next. During that ride I want to laugh my ass off. I want to be dazzled by the witty script and chuckle worthy one, two, and even three line running jokes from characters that jump off the screen and turn clever phrases like Broad Street’s finest turn other less clever things! There was some of that, but nowhere near enough.

What there was plenty of, was Jack Sparrow. Everyone in love with Johnny Depp’s whacked out pirate captain will more than get their fill in this one. Don’t get me wrong, he was by far the best character in the first three movies. Anytime he is on the screen, your eyes are glued to him and your ears are trying to pick out every odd thing he spits out. In this installment, I think Jack was the centerpiece in almost every episode within the story. There is other stuff going on but watching it feels like your treading water until Sparrow shows up and adds his one cent. Be careful what you wish for because when he gets on the screen he never seems to leave. Stranger Tides is a Jack Sparrow weekend bender, great at the start, even better later, but then comes the morning after where you say “never again.” (Though everyone knows what you end up doing the next weekend anyway. What can I say? I already want to see him strutting around again.)

The rest of the cast is lacking the ensemble chemistry from before. The main reason is that few of them are in it. Geoffrey Rush is back and pretty much the doing the same things as Barbosa. He has a few great moments whenever Sparrow is around him. Kevin McNalley plays Gibbs once again and does the role justice. Unfortunately his strongest moments in the past were his trademark  terrifying explanations of whatever location or supernatural element the greener crew members were encountering. In this he only really talks to Barbossa and Sparrow so the wise old jackass that everyone loves element isn’t really there. I think that’s it for the characters we’ve seen before.

The new guys are a mixed bag. Penelope Cruz plays Angelica, a woman scorned in the past by Jack who gets him caught up with Blackbeard and company and happens to be his daughter. Her overall character is pretty good. I dig the way she looks as a pirate and her work with Depp is pretty entertaining. The only question I had with her was her character’s motivation. Trying to save a terrible man like Blackbeard’s soul is intriguing but it plays out kind of weird in the movie. Ian McShane is Blackbeard. He has a really menacing voice and cadence. The character’s twisted sense of logic and total lack of any morals made him one of better new addition to the Pirate crew. His best moment is his first appearance. A mutiny led by Jack, of course, is breaking out on the ship and Blackbeard busts onto the scene. He lays down swift and cruel justice by stringing up the entire crew in the mast with a magic sword. Visually it’s one of the creepier moments in the entire series. It sucks that it only lasts a few seconds and everyone is freed right away. The one new guy I really could care less about was Philip the missionary played by Sam Claflin. He was pretty much a walking plot device with barely one dimension to his character. I guess he was supposed to be the new Will Turner or something, maybe. His romance angle with the mermaid chick was pretty lame. I found myself groaning almost every time he popped on the screen.

Overall On Stranger Tides was more interesting than entertaining. My favorite sequence of the movie was the first twenty minutes. There were a few other brilliant moments throughout, the best of the rest being the Mermaid scene which is actually pretty cool, but for the most part I found myself idly staring at the screen letting out a few “heh’s” here there at the funny parts. Jack really needed a true “straight man” to balance him out. Orlando and Keira in that role were sorely missed this go around. It’s not a bad flick but it’s not as good as it’s predecessors. It is certainly a must see if you are a fan of the franchise or you just want to kill two and a half hours (pretty damn long) while being occasionally wowed. It really needs all those familiar characters as wind to fill its sails. I don’t want the Pirate’s series to be dead in the water (That’s right I used an aquatic film style cliché straight out of the movie reviewer’s handbook.)

I give it 3 moons out of 5 on the Braveheart scale. (Braveheart is still my only 6 mooner)