Lunar Works Productions

Transformers: The Lost Adventures

Episode 1 “Can’t We All just Get Along?” or

The Combaticon Dilemma

Starring:

The murky depths of the Pacific Ocean did nothing to improve the depressing mood of the secret undersea Decepticon base that hid within its cascading folds. Tensions were running high after countless defeats to the cursed Autobots. Every attempt to procure more energon to power the slowly growing Decepticon forces on Earth had been thwarted. Their control over Cybertron was becoming a burden. Energon was harder and harder to transport to their home world as more Autobots were beginning to trickle to Earth from various parts of the universe at the constant interstellar pleading of Optimus Prime.

Thundercracker surveyed his compartment in disgust. He had enjoyed his once private room, as did most of the other Decepticons (Well, other than Soundwave and all of his cassette tape buddies, but he was weird anyways, thought the veteran Seeker.) He glared at Blast Off, his new roommate. The Combaticon shuttle was plugged into an information console, attempting to accommodate himself with Earth’s culture.

“Pathetic lack of creativity. I am quite surprised that these fleshlings have survived this long with such inferior technology,” Blast Off stated, obviously unimpressed at his findings. He yanked the plug from his audio receptor and tossed the chord behind him.

“Well, they’ve survived the wrath of you mighty Combaticons a few times already,” replied Thundercracker.

“A momentary setback, I assure you. Besides, the other Combaticons hinder my path to ultimate domination.”

“Too bad you need them to form Bruticus,” Thundercracker added. He removed his incendiary gun mounted on his arm and peered down the barrel, “So what did you do to become a Decepticon outlaw? It seems kind of stupid to me. I mean we’re the bad guys. How do you find yourself a criminal of a race bent on evildoing?”

“Oh it was a trifling affair, really,” Blast Off explained, “Just the nearly successful overthrow of Shockwave as Cybertronian governor. With Megatron gone forever and Cybertron powered down to near deactivation I decided to act. Unfortunately my plans were stumbled upon by Swindle, who in turn blackmailed me for my last cache of surplus photon charges and energon cubes.”

“Okay, but that doesn’t explain how your memory circuits ended up in confinement,” said Thundercracker.

“Well, subsequently Swindle sold the information of my plans to Shockwave less than a mini-cycle before I was to enact them for quite a large amount of energon. Our one-eyed friend sent out a squadron of your Seeker brethren to apprehend my gang and I,” Blast Off chuckled, “Unfortunately, it was an open and shut case for me.”

“That’s funny,” Thundercracker laughed, “You’ve taken it better than I would have. Fitting you end up linked to Swindle as a Combaticon. I’m sure that was quite reunion.”

“That is the best part, old boy,” Blast Off explained, “before I was put to the sword, I told Shockwave that I had sold Swindle a rather large supply of photon charges and that he was planning on selling them to Autobot rebels at a huge profit. Shockwave was so enraged, he sent out those very same Seekers that had captured me and plucked Swindle from a business transaction that was actually taking place between him and a small group of Autobot rebels. Truthfully, I did not have a clue of what he planned to do with the energon at all.”

“Heh, a double, double cross. I like it,” Thundercracker re-attached his incendiary gun, “So you had no idea about him selling to the ‘Bots?”

“No, but I am familiar with how that little schemer’s neural-circuits spark and fizzle,” said Blast Off confidently. He gestured a thumb towards himself and added, “In fact I ….”

Suddenly Soundwave’s metallically monotone voice boomed over the headquarters’ intercom systems: “All Decepticons, report to assembly room immediately!”

“Fantastic, Megatron must have seen a new ultimate death ray prototype on 60 Minutes,” Thundercracker rose to his feet, “Let’s go, rookie.”

“60 Minutes?” Blast Off followed Thundercracker through the sliding door, “What is that?”

“Never mind,” growled Thundercracker, “Just be ready to be in the repair bay for a couple of cycles after whatever our leader has planned for us this time.”

“Wonderful,” Blast Off feigned with mock excitement.

The darkened room was already filling with Decepticons when Thundercracker and Blast Off arrived. Each filed in with their affiliated groups, Constructicons with Constructions, Insecticons with Insecticons, and so on. Thundercracker found Skywarp and Thrust standing at the front of the massing crowd as usual. Ramjet and Dirge had not yet found their way to the gathering, but he was sure they would be there momentarily.

“Why is the antique walking towards us?” Skywarp asked as Thundercracker approached. The black and purple jet warrior stood frowning with his arms crossed. It appeared he was just as excited about the summons as Thundercracker was.

Thundercracker quickly turned to see Blast Off standing behind him.

“Why are you following me? The other Combaticons are over there,” Thundercracker pointed across the room towards Onslaught and Brawl, “That is where you stand, with your teammates.”

“I stand where choose to stand,” harrumphed Blast Off, “and where I choose not to stand as well. The Combaticons are neither my teammates nor my friends. I merely combine with them to form a giant slow talking ingrate.”

“Well stand by yourself then,” growled Thrust. The crimson conehead pushed Blast Off away from the others, “This area is for Seekers.”

“Hmmm,” Blast Off nodded. He decided discretion was the better part of valor and a laser-fight in the middle of Underbase would be rather foolish given the disdain most of the other Decepticons felt towards all of the Combaticons. No, he would bide his time and wait for an opening, “Very well then. I suppose you are unworthy of my presence after all.”

“Right,” said Thundercracker as he turned away from his “roommate” to face his true comrades.

“Feel fortunate, Thundercracker,” Skywarp laughed, “At least you’re not stuck with Wildrider like our buddy Dirge.”

On cue Dirge and Ramjet entered the group from the closest tunnel. Dirge appeared to be gloomier than normal while Ramjet wore his customary wicked yet stupid expression.

“Tonight I shall drain the energon through his empty optic circuits after I shoot them out,” Dirge softly grumbled. His dark face became twisted in a silent rage, “Let Wildrider plead for death as my fingers tear through his cold chest compartments. That would be a welcome sound after so much……what is it called?”

“I believe the word you are searching your lacking memory banks for is laughter,” Blast Off chimed in from afar, overhearing the conversation.

“Who let him back in?” asked Thrust angrily.

“Silence!” the almost non-stop quarrelling of the milling Decepticons was brought to a sudden halt by the deep metallic baritone of the celestial traveler, Astrotrain, “Lord Megatron comes!” He raised his arms before the mass of warriors as if to forcibly quell the rabble and herald his leader’s arrival. Most of the other Decepticons laughed to themselves at the triple-changer’s posturing, for it was only just recently that he had made a play for leadership of the Decepticon army. One misstep by Astrotrain would undoubtedly bring the wrath of Megatron’s fusion canon.

The Decepticon warlord strolled before his loyal (most of the time) troops and gazed about the chamber with obvious disdain. No wonder they were losing on earth. Megatron had never beheld such a pathetic band of halfwits. He turned his head and watched his favorite whipping boy, Starscream, boldly standing beside him and cringed. The red, white, and blue seeker commander looked back at him with that same scheming, conniving face, halfway grinning. Megatron turned back towards the rest of the Decepticons.

“Failures,” spoke Megatron. The Decepticon commander bashed his foot into the floor panels instantly bringing his subordinates to attention through fear. “That is who I am constantly surrounded by!”

“Surely you do not mean me, mighty Megatron?” Starscream chimed in with his snaky hiss of a voice as he raised his palms in a feigned gesture of defense.

Megatron faced the Seeker sneering, “I especially mean you, whelp!” The fierce backhand was issued so fast that barely any of them realized what happened until the clang was felt by all in attendance and Starscream was sprawled out across the floor many feet from his previous location. The Deceptions erupted in laughter.

“Quiet!” yelled Megatron. The result was instant; “Each of you have failed me in your own special ways. The Autobots have taken advantage of our carelessness and have managed to thwart every attempt of mine to enslave and ravage this primitive mudball. The vermin’s governments line up to praise that weakling Prime after every Decepticon debacle! They report our every appearance on the surface and instantly the Autobots are upon us because of your incompetence!”

“We apologize, Megatron,” Soundwave bowed his head and went to one knee before his commander.

“Lord Megatron,” announced Thundercracker, “We offer you Starscream as cannon fodder to show our remorse for all of our failures.”

“Yes, incinerate him,” agreed Skywarp grinning, “It will make you feel much better about the current situation.”

Starscream pulled himself from the floor, head in hand, “Let’s not be hasty. There’s no need for that kind of talk.”

Megatron nodded, “Though it would be more fun than I have had recently, I need Starscream just as I need the rest of you cretins.” Starscream grinned, eyes boring into his fellow Seekers. Megatron continued, “We have a new and more pressing concern within our ranks, the Combaticons. They cannot be trusted.”

“That’s not true at all!” announced Swindle, who was standing near the Constructicons instead of his own teammates.

Megatron nodded towards Astrotrain who smiled evilly. The dark purple and gunmetal colored robot eyed the much smaller Swindle, “I’ll trade you four energon cubes for Megatron’s fusion canon.”

“Please, I can get six from Blitzwing,” responded Swindle confidently, crossing his arms.

“I see,” growled Megatron as he glared at Blitzwing, “Six energon cubes, Blitzwing?”

Blitzwing shrugged with optics glowing with panic. The Decepticon commander raised his arm and pointed his fusion canon at the triple-changer’s faceplate, “All you have to do is ask, Blitzwing, and you may have my fusion canon whenever you wish. I can be very generous.”

Blitzwing backed up against the chamber wall, near Starscream who snickered. “I never said those words, Lord Megatron. I have seen the error of my recent rebellious ways.”

“It matters little,” growled Megatron, lowering his arm, “It proves my point. Swindle, as well as the rest of his Combaticon teammates cannot be trusted.”

“Megatron, my loyalty has always been without question ..errr….besides recent events anyways,” Vortex stated, “I was merely a pawn. The Decepticon cause has always been a passion of mine.”

“If my memory circuits are correct, Vortex, you were my chief interrogator during the second Cybertronian War, specializing in cruel and crude torture. Autobots quivered in fear at the very mention of being taken to your chamber,” Megatron said.

“Exactly,” the Combaticon helicopter replied happily.

“But you were not satisfied at slowly dismembering Autobots piece by piece. When business was slow you found other subjects to ply your trade. Namely your Decepticon brethren!” Megatron’s voice boomed out in anger.

“It was a mistake. I am an artist. So during uneventful stretches I may have accidentally picked at an unwitting Decepticon or two,” Vortex cringed.

“Try two hundred!” Megatron found an even louder level of audible projection causing the room to shudder. Megatron turned his attention to the muscle of the Combaticon group, “Brawl, you are the most disappointing warrior in the history of the Decepticons. You are one of the most powerful yet stupid creatures I have ever encountered. Your foolishness has gotten more of your comrades killed than any other of my imbecilic followers.”

“I have nothing to say! I never did anything wrong!” Brawl’s voice was always louder than anyone else’s in the room, including Megatron’s. The Stunticon, Wildrider who was standing next to him, began to laugh uncontrollably. Brawl turned towards the black and red Decepticon car, instantly rearing back and punching the hysterical robot in his jaw components. Wildrider flailed and fell into Breakdown’s arms. Breakdown looked pleadingly toward Brawl expecting another haymaker, this time, meant for him. Wildrider continued to laugh despite the small spider webbing cracks and trickles of energon visible on his face. Brawl growled and faced Megatron once more.

“In more than one infiltration, you gave away the Decepticon position by yelling, fighting with another Decepticon, or firing your weapon for no reason at all,” rattled off Megatron in disgust, “Then once a battle that was your own fault to begin with started, you became so blinded by rage that you began shooting at everyone, including me! I should ionize you right now!”

“I’m not afraid of you!” Brawl bellowed at Megatron. Wildrider jumped out of Breakdown’s arms and lunged at Brawl, while still cackling. The Combaticon tank instantly turned and uppercutted a fist into Wildrider’s abdominal structure. The Stunticon was silenced as he flew backwards into the air. For good measure, Brawl swung at Breakdown with his opposite hand smashing him into the ground.

“Yes, I see that you are still quite an asset to the war effort. Enough!” Megatron announced, “You are as worthless as ever, Brawl. Moving on to my two traitors.”

“I expect that one of the supposed traitors you are referring to is me, great Megatron,” Blast Off began to articulate. He pointed one index finger into the air as he spoke, “I would like to point the fact that I have never truly rebelled from you specifically, only Shockwave, my lord. He was unfit to rule after serving for so long under such an awesome dictator as yourself. In four million years he accomplished absolutely nothing. No one ever saw him outside of his tower. I thought he had been somehow deactivated actually.”

“Shut up, Blast Off, your colorful words are full of holes,” said Megatron, “Shockwave is one of my most loyal warriors. He did nothing because I had not given him the command to do anything, except to crush any resistance in my absence. You were resistance, therefore, you were crushed. No one rules the Decepticons but me.”

“I cannot argue with logic like that,” Blast Off felt he had gotten off lightly and did not wish to push the case any further. He bowed reverently.

“Now for the main course, Onslaught.” Megatron smiled. Onslaught remained silent. The Combaticon leader just glared at Megatron with obvious contempt, “You were once one of my greatest generals. A brilliant tactician and a formidable warrior, but that wasn’t enough. Like so many you sought to lead the Decepticons yourself, to overthrow me. I admit, you came the closest out of all who have tried. Even Starscream’s power plays are mere annoyances compared to your single effort.”

“Hey!” Starscream hissed.

“Quiet, weakling,” Megatron shot back, “I have decided to let you live though, Onslaught. It pleases me to see you again, this time in such a laughable and feeble new body. You are a shade of your former self. You will no doubt entertain me as you slowly realize that your attempts to free yourself from your new slave collar are incredibly futile. I hold the chains, old friend, and I love to pull them. That goes for the rest of you Combaticons as well.” Megatron began to chuckle mercilessly. The rest of the Decepticons save the Combaticons waited a moment and then added to the evil chorus of mad laughter, as was the normal Decepticon procedure. Onslaught and the rest of the Combaticons silently fumed.

Also appearing in this episode: